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Tropical Rainy
Old world charm No bath.
Standard Sub-standard
Deluxe Standard
Superior One free shower cap
All the amenities Shower cap and soap
No extra fees No extras
Nominal fee Outrageous charge
Plush Top and bottom sheets
Majestic setting A long way from town
Secluded hideaway Impossible to find except by cab
Gentle breezes OccasionalGale force winds
Light and airy No air conditioning
Picturesque Cutie on the billboard across the street
Options galore Nothing on the itinerary is included
Knowledgeable trip hosts They've been on a greyhound once
Internet access You need your own dial-up account
Only 25 cents per call We knock you off-line every 5 minutes
Explore on your own Pay for it yourself
Pre registered rooms Both already occupied
Open bar Free ice cubes